A Few Late Night Random Thoughts

Did you know that they can graft pig testicles to the back of a mouse and have it grow to produce sperm? Tell me you're not impressed. I dare you. Just think of the possibilities! If they could graft a penis to my back, I could possibly fulfill my dream of being the meat between a Jessica Alba/Shannyn Sossamon sex sandwich. I could also invent the piggy-back sex position! However, is all this worth having another man's penis touching your back? I'll have to rethink this and get back to you.

I'm listening to "Ready To Go" by Republica. This song makes me want to run down the streets screaming at the top of my lungs (as manly as possible).

Sometimes I seriously want to just pack one of those hobo bags (the one with a pouch attached to a stick) and leave my life without a word to anyone. I sometimes think I'm not appreciated enough and it would serve those bastards right if I just got up and left. Quite selfish, I know. Everyone indulges in escapism in one form or another.

There is no such thing as a relationship where both people love each other equally. I hope someone proves me wrong.

I'm going to donate the dozens of toys I've gotten from ex-girlfriends to some charity this winter. I think it'd be nice to pass on years of torturous memories to little kids this upcoming christmas. Maybe I'll attach little notes to each toy à la Chinese fortune cookies, to educate the boys and girls about relationships. Notes like; "never date a girl who weighs more than you do" or "avoid girls who have 5 older brothers" and "if you're going to tell a girl you love her to get her in bed, don't tell her you lied afterwards". It's time I started giving back to my community.